My Life with the Monster Boy, Episode 1
August 27th, 2007I have never met a parent in my life who did not at some point or another make this claim: “I never had as many toys as my son/daughter!”
I wasn’t sure what the point of the statement was. I didn’t know whether it meant ‘I’m going to spoil the kid rotten in order to avoid having to deal with more subtle displays of affection’, or ‘damn I’m rich.’
Now that I have a child, I can decode the real meaning after having caught myself uttering that mysterious phrase—a sure sign of entry into the club of slightly freaked out parents. I too, without an ounce of irony declared: “I never had as many toys as my son!”
As I heard myself say it, I finally understood the actual translation; it really means, “How can the same parents, who assured me over multiple Christmases that clothing was a decent present, now shower my child with colourful plush or plastic items which seem to have no other function than to drive me entirely mad?”
